The White Monster almost consumed me last night for the first time… in my opinion I didn’t even get close, but according to my family it made a glimpse of an appearance. I experienced my first battle with becoming a…gasp! Bridezilla.
I teased earlier in the week of a destination wedding. We plan to go through with our travel plans to the yet TBA destination. However, I started getting information from our wedding planner and I began panicking over control.
I have trouble letting go of anything and I prefer to view every situation as just seeing myself as hands on and active in every aspect of my life. Control freak is such an ugly term and I consider it as dirty of a word as Bridezilla.
However, I will not, I repeat, will not let my wedding become something someone else plans. I have said from the beginning I don’t want a wedding planner. I don’t have a choice with the location we have chosen, because it is a few hundred miles away. The planner only sent my preliminary information, because we haven’t signed our contract yet, but I became worried our options were too limited. I didn’t share my panic with my family, but I expressed a little concern.. apparently I was more transparent than I liked and they teased “Bride Brain.”
1. The Details Become More Important Than The Big Picture
Modern wedding culture is very detail oriented. Having over-the-top details is the only way to get featured in most wedding magazines or blogs, a feat many couples regard as a badge of wedding honor. It’s so pervasive that if the details don’t seem clever or perfect, many couples don’t feel like their doing their wedding “right,” and suddenly searching for 3 more perfect vintage tea cups can seem more important than the actual getting married portion of the whole event. Keeping the big picture at the forefront of your mind can keep you from getting too fixated on unreasonable feats of perfection and demanding that your bridal party stay up all night before your event gluing chevron birds to your table numbers.
2. Things Become More Important Than People
Perfectionism can also pave the road to Bridezilla-dom when things start to become more important than your relationships. Most couples see their wedding as a celebration not only of their relationship, but also their other important relationships with friends and family. Simple questions like, “Do I hate my mother’s dress so much that I’m willing to hurt her feelings by saying something? Is there a tactful way I can suggest something else, or should I just let it go?” might save a lot of grief in the long run. Honoring your future spouse, friends, and family throughout the process can keep Bridezilla at bay.
3. Who is Right Becomes More Important Than What is Right
Problems can arise while planning even the simplest events. Sometimes, it just doesn’t feel good when someone tells us what to do. Ego and privilege (This is my special day, *#$^*#*!) can cause couples to push back at the most reasonable suggestions, often because rising problems change the wedding from their perfect, planned picture. Attempt to take a step back and listen for the right solution rather than needing to be the right person can make problem solving a great deal easier.
So I making a promise to myself to just relax and have fun with it.