4 years later… December 18

/, Moi, Photo Challenge/4 years later… December 18

Four years ago today, my best friend was killed by a drunk driver. She was 20 years old and had never been drunk. She never got to have her celebratory 21st birthday drink, she never fell in love, watch a volcano erupt, read another book, or meet Nickelback. She was taken way too soon and there is not a day that goes by I don’t miss her or wish I could really talk to her.

Please don’t drink and drive. You not only hurt yourself, but you hurt your family, friends and those around you.


December 21, 2009 at 8:22pm

Anyone that truly knew Ashley, knew that she hated to be the center of attention. The only thing that I can think of during this whole mess, is that she would hate everyone making such a fuss about her. I can hear her in my head, as clear as if she were standing to next to me, saying to talk about something else. This is part of what made our relationship work. From the very first time I met her, I loved that she was a good listener. I’m a talker and I certainly have no problem carrying on a conversation by myself, so knowing that Ash was on the other line was perfect. I remember the first time I met her, seven years ago. Freshman year, the first day of high school, I walked into biology and looked for an empty seat next to someone I thought I could talk to. I introduced myself and before Ashley had a chance to runaway I had found my new best friend and confidant. She sat there patiently and gave me that look, I became accustomed to, where I knew she thought I was crazy. I miss that look.
Ashley was more than my best friend, she was the only sister I have ever had. We had something that seemed complicated to other people, but came natural to us. We were complete opposites, that couldn’t agree on anything simple, but in the long run, we knew we were there for each other, because somehow God decided that we were un-biological family. We could go days, weeks even, without talking and pick up where we left off. We were the only ones that could call each other out on our mistakes and still want to aggravate each other… I wore black nail polish for a solid month after Ashley told me I couldn’t pull it off. She would look at my hands and shake her head.
Ashley got me to take risks. I rode a roller coaster for the first time without fear with her, because she promised me she would talk me through the entire process. She did, almost. She ended up giggling the entire way, which made me do the same, and over the course of one day we conquered our fears. I’m not sure what I’m going to do without her pushing my buttons and making me try things that scare me. Although I guess I’m doing something that scares me right now, life without Ashley.
Ashley was the most stubborn and determined person I ever met. She could read a 3000 page book in a day if she decided she was interested in, because eating and sleeping weren’t as important as the next science fiction trilogy, in which she was engrossed. She never took the easy way out or tried to be conventional. Ashley was over for dinner one night and when my parents asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, she replied a volcanologist. After much discussion over how this was not in any way related to Star Trek, we were convinced that rocks were this girl’s passion. This is inevitably how I see Ashley. She was able to take something ordinary and make it extraordinary and interesting. Don’t get me wrong, many times she lost me in her talks about the classification of certain geological specimens, but there was no denying how passionate she was about the things she loved.
Ashley may not be with us physically today, but I have no doubt in my mind where she is. Ashley Elaine Forsythe is in heaven. There was one thing that she was more in love with than rocks and books, her faith. She was a strong Christian, that taught me how to trust more fully and completely. Ashley changed my life forever. I will miss her everyday of my life and I am thankful for every moment I had with her. She will not be forgotten.
The one thing that everyone always mentioned was her smile. I’m not sure how many people realize this, but on one of the closet doors in her bedroom she has a sticker that she would look at everyday – ‘siempre sonrisas’, ‘always smile’. And I can’t get this song out of my head as I think about her, because I know this is what she would want us to do.

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile


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